ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”
"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind." replied the author.
Here’s the answer:
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this)
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!
i can’t escape, can i?
this is how i die, isn’t it?
feeling this way is really taking its toll…
[Creative Writing: A letter to someone in your past.]
We’re not close, and that’s fine. It is understandable, seeing as how things ended up. You’re in the past, where you belong. Don’t think I hate you, I’m more disappointed that I believed you to be a better person, when you weren’t. My problem with you is I never got the chance to give you a piece of my mind. I mean, what’s another piece of me going to do to you? You left me with piece of my heart, and I was just supposed to recover, am I right? At the time I didn’t think I would, but I did.
I never got the chance to tell you exactly how you affected me, and after all these years of recovering from the hurt you caused, the only problem you left me with is trust issues.
It has somewhat bugged me, that you’d go to the extreme of hurting me in that sense. I’ve tried to understand it for years. You made me question my worth. My thoughts are: if you’re unhappy with someone, then end it, don’t hold onto them and talk to someone else and develop feelings for someone else behind their back. You never understood the damage you caused. You were my best friend (at the time) and all trust I had in you, in relationships, and in love; you broke it.
I couldn’t believe that I trusted someone like you and I let you destroy me (emotionally) so easily, to the point I didn’t know how to stand back up from it. I just became angry and critical on myself. My fight to see the good in people was gone and you had no clue. It just came off as selfish, because no one warned me, you moved on quick and all I could do was pretend I wasn’t hurt. I remember that day when you avoided my questions and said so much careless and hurtful things. I couldn’t believe it. I just wanted to get revenge, but I couldn’t. You ended things and I cried. I couldn’t believe I gave you the power to make me cry. You asshole.
For years I’ve wanted to give you a piece of my mind, and after all these years I realized you’re not even worth it. You walked into my life, and walked right out. I don’t hate you, but it feels great to realize: I don’t need you, I never needed you.
I am happy and it felt great to hear you realized I was happy without you.
so you wanna know why i have these walls…
its because words I speak go unheard
because promises I’m told are broken
because trust that I’ve given is shaken
and because hurt is a feeling I’m too familiar with…